QOTD – Do your friends get a say?

Sooner or later in your dating life, you reach the point of introducing that  potential special someone to your friends. Most of us get nervous about this and just pray it goes well. Sometimes it does. Other times, not so much.

How much influence does your friends opinions have on your decision to keep seeing someone? Do you pay attention to & trust their thoughts? Do you do your own thing regardless?

I used to be firmly in the “No way, no how!” camp when it came to listening to anyone else. (Some call me stubborn. I prefer to think of it as tenacious.) As much as it pains me to admit it, I have been burned in a relationship or two. Haven’t we all? In most of those cases, I could have avoided a lot of unnecessary heartache had I listened to my friends. However I was determined to prove them all wrong and went marching ahead. Oops!

Finally I can say that I have reached a point in my life, where I am happy to swallow my pride and listen. The key is to know which of your friends to listen to.  Everyone has an opinion. Question is which of these are ones with your best interest at heart, versus the ones where they is an underlying agenda. Over time I have learned which of my friends to put my trust in. Oddly it is not always my best or closest friends that I will turn to in this case. (Don’t we all have that best friend that is also a cock blocker?!)

I am not about to stop spending time with my friends just because I am in a relationship.  It is important to me that there be harmony and balance in my life. While I don’t need everyone to be madly in love with each other, there does need to be respect and understanding.

That’s my take. What’s yours?

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3 Responses

  1. I agree that your friends can definitely be a help but they shouldn’t be your only deciding factor. I prefer to use mine as a tie breaker or when there’s a guy I’d consider getting close with.

    The challenge I find is whether you go for the guy that “fills the gap” in your group rather than the one that is best for your life. They often aren’t the same guy.

    But good on you for having friend that you can not only trust but that you can be happy with their advise. 🙂

  2. I would have to say that my friends are much too “Canadian polite” to give their true opinion on a potential SO for me. And to be honest, I appreciate that! When my friends are in a relationship, I have discovered the WORST thing for me to do is give a negative opinion. Once I do that they tend to shut right down and not talk to me about him/their relationship. That worries me as I am afraid they won’t have anyone to vent to when they need me the most! So although in theory, the perfect friendship would include being able to be honest about another one’s mate, it has not worked out as such for me. I tend to just damper my enthusiasm for the fellow and stand by to pick up the pieces!

    Felicia

  3. Yes, I definitely care what my friends think. Not necessarily all of my friends, and every one of them don’t have to love him, but I look for more of a general consensus. I feel like they can sometimes see things that I can’t (or don’t want to) see, and I know that they always have my best interests at heart. I also know that they’re not dismissive people, so if they tell me that they think something is “off” about a guy I trust their opinion. It might be different if they hated *every* guy I introduced them to, but for the most part they’ve always been dead-on with their praises and criticisms. I trust them.

    Like you, my friends are going to be around forever so it’s important to me that they get along with whoever I’m dating. If a guy is rude to my friends? Goodbye.

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