A shift in thinking…

2009 was a HUGE dating year for me.  I made it a priority to get out, mix & mingle and date. A lot. Probably too much.  Wait, not probably. Definitely.

The bad: I went on so many dates, with so many different kinds of people, that I am suffering from major dating burnout.  I think I might be past the burnout part, as I would gladly welcome a date, but still do not have the drive to get out there and make it happen for myself.

The good: Dating so much really reinforced those things that I want in a partner. A few of my friends and acquaintances have scoffed and flat out told me that I am being too picky.  Then there are those that have expressed a gleeful delight in the fact that I am finally at the point where I *know* beyond a doubt what I am looking for.  Those are the friends that have watched me flounder over the years, settling for less than I deserve, getting emotionally banged up along the way.

Funny thing is that while some say I am too picky, those things on the list of things that I want in a partner are not physical qualities (well except for one.) The bulk of them come down to how I expect to be treated by someone.  I have settled on those points in the past and ended up miserable.

The last several years I have been on an extensive, and at times exhausting journey of self-discovery.  I love who I am!  Am I perfect? No. Nobody is. Are there things I need to work on? Yes, we all have those things. As a whole, I am a happy, fulfilled and all around good person at the core. I go out of my way to make the world around me a better place.  I give of myself, through time, effort & sacrifice to do what I can to help many people (and a few organizations) out.  While at times I get worn down, when the rewards for these efforts arrive, they are rich blessings.

One of these days, someone will arrive in my life that will see me for who I am and recognize what I have to offer.

How often do you get those things you do not ask for and work towards? Not very often. I am confident in what I want and know that I also deserve to have those things. Why should anyone have to settle for less than what they need, unless it is a case of something in life being an absolute necessity? Maybe it comes down to the fact that I am happy with my life as it is.  Having someone is just an additional perk. In the meantime, my life will go on and I am happy. Are you?

I would love to hear your thoughts…

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4 Responses

  1. YAY! Great work getting the new blog set up… I love your writing style already (you sound SO much like me last year…)

    I wish friends wouldn’t give advice with dating — It’s a very individual thing. Many of my friends said I was being too picky, too…. That I needed to compromise on what I wanted from a guy. I didn’t compromise, and ended up finding my soon-to-be husband in the strangest of places… Florida on a marathon for Team Diabetes.

    Next week marks a year dating, and our wedding day. I know you’ll find exactly what you want from a partner, in exactly the right time… and in the strangest of places, too.

    I’ll be rooting for you from over here! And, if you ever want an entirely understanding ear, I’m here!

    And, if you want more readers to your new blog, head on over to the MEET n’ GREET… It’s an awesome way to get brand new peeps coming by and saying hello! (goes on every weekend, even when I’m away for a month!)

    Hugs!
    T.

  2. Your story makes me feel all gushy & hopeful! 🙂 Cannot wait to catch up with you once you are back from your honeymoon and hear even more of your story, IN PERSON!

    Will definitely head over to your MEET n’ GREET soon!

  3. Awww. I love this place that you’re in. It’s awesome to know what you want and how you should be treated and that you really just don’t care until someone comes across that meets the requirements. It’s totally what you deserve. And until that person shows up… at least you know that YOU will treat yourself the way you deserve. Respect yourself and demand that same respect from others.

  4. I am so with you on the dating burnout thing. I think I was just meeting too many people too quickly and it started to turn into quantity over quality. I’m at the point where if someone great comes along, fine, and if someone I’ve already gone out with and liked asks me out again I’ll go, but I really just need to rein it all in a bit and have some “me” time.

    Totally agree with you on not compromising what you’re looking for. Too many people do that and it ends badly. I know I did and hey, look! I’m divorced.

    Glad you got this started! Maybe it’ll give me the kick in the butt I need to get my own going. 🙂

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